on Charleston, white frigility and Forgiveness

what is forgiveness?

why is it the ooftah and white privilege go to in times of racial strife?

why did white slavers work so hard to give the enslaved the whitejesus religion that they dont follow?

there is a popular notion is society that to forgive someone is to hold them harmless and blameless.
this is very different and often confused for the forgiveness that accepts the past and frees the wronged person to live fully.
many christians in my experience think that forgiveness means that you maintain the abusive relationship when you forgive the wrongdoer. that you keep taking their shit.

I wont speak to anyone else only my concept. Because white people in america always want to be let off the hook for the bullshit that they say and do to black people. to never apologize, never change grow become better fuller human being.

I wont USE THE WORD FORGIVE.  because many black people are stuck on stupid and need massa to be happy at their and my expense.
I WONT USE THE WORD FORGIVE. is it my intention to stay in this painful for me and shameful for them moment.
but like I told the abusive exhusband who broke my arm and hand in 5 places – when he told me that we were still married in the eyes of god and jesus didnt allow divorce..
your god must be blind and jesus didnt marry you.
and to a reasonable extent I have forgiven him. not is a stay married and dwell in hell kind of way. in a I accept that the past is the past and cant change it.
i free myself to move on and be happy. I dont keep your secret. i dont stay in relationship with you and i dont pretend that it is all ok.

(take a moment to remember how AMERICA forgave during WWII and after 9/11)

and have a seat


As much as I respect the right of people who need to forgive in their grief about Charleston…

I fully expect my grief to be respected.

I am pissed to hell and back!!

the cumulative effect of white supremacy and privilege and fragility are literally killing my people and


I had tears for SandyHook and the loss of live. the Aurora theater… GabbyGifford…

where are the white tears for the lose of Black life.

i hear crickets and scrambling for excuses..

all you good black and white people you are oblivious to race issues.

I dont see it.
what did he have on?
why was she there?
pull up you pants.
some of my friends are….
did she say nigger, then why was it racist?
you should just ignore it.
we should pray it away
if you really believe what you say than all hate and exclusion is wrong

if you are really about a better america… you know true forgiveness requires an acknowledgement of the wrong,
amends/ atonement

your silence makes you like that judge… who ignored the victims and their families and focused on the killer/terrorists parents

your silence is the idiotic need to avoid the issue and evidence of racism in this shooting

your silence says only lives of white people matter…

I stopped using them to wash my dog, she got a rash

I hope you mean well and I hope you can really hear me.rupaul opera glasses
“I dont see color” is a microaggression.
My culture and color are important to me and I will not allow them to be dismissed and demeaned.im black yall
Race and racism are ingrained in amercan culture and history. racism is oppressive.
Privilege allows the oppressor class to ignore race and oppression.
That is what I would like you to examine. How the anchor’s comments was an inappropriate oppressive representation of all that is immoral, unethical and hurtful about the racial history in the US and UK. I dont know how many black friends you have or if you even consider yourself an ally. One of the first things one must do to truly be an ally is to listen. Really listen to what the people you wish to assist are saying. Then ask how you can help. Telling me what you think is way down the road, after you have demonstrated that you have hear and understood my call.

Anything less than that is a demonstration of UNCHECKED WHITE PRIVILEGE!all the privilege unchecked

who exactly do you think is ‘unsettled’? or attacked?
as for your apology, I suspect it is as genuine as any other offered in a spirit of vitriol and resentment. you dont want to consider any opinion but your own.
so in addition to unchecked white privilege you may also suffer from white savior complex. white opinions NO
You are not my great white hope and I am not anyone’s good compliant negro. bye bitch
Understand or not. I have spent a good deal of my life as a Black Woman. max aghast
it governs how I am treated and perceived by the world. as I watch the #BlackLivesMatter movement and raise my children,malcolm_x freedom cant wait

I am beyond clear what factors contribute to the cycle of racism and destruction in the society and one of those factors of refusal of ‘good intention’ white people to actually listen and be accountable. Privilege is a hell of a drug.

MLK said “Many white Americans of good will have never connected bigotry with economic exploitation. They have deplored prejudice but tolerated or ignored economic injustice.” andking handcuffed
“Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness.”

MLK hand on forehead“Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.”
― Martin Luther King Jr.

you can be angry with me all you want – I collect white tears to wash my car and water my lawn…white tears

you can feel sorry all you want – I collect white tears to wash my car and water my lawn…white womens tears collection

And then she BLOCKED ME

So Rosie O’Donnell Blocked me.bye bitch

Its official – I have lost my you are blocked on twitter virginity.

I had blocked before. It was scary and tremendous. I had tweeted something about a women’s right to reproductive education, freedom and choice and someone found that objectionable.

Let’s be clear I was NOT advocating for mandatory trans vaginal ultrasounds… so I didn’t understand the vitriol that came spewing at me. I was ready to go word for word, insult for insult and I thought – I don’t give a fuck. And I blocked them.

A rite of passage.

So I was surprised that Rosie O’Donnell blocked me as I hadn’t done any of the thing that were done to me.

Boom –rosie blocked me I was no longer a blocked on twitter virgin.

Yes, I disagreed with her and believe that like a great many white feminist, she believes that she can tell feminist of color how to think and what to say…

I tweeted that I stood with Lauren Chief Elk and other feminist of color demanding the inclusion of all women in feminist thought, discussion and representation.

[an overview of the controversy can be found

(http://www.dailydot.com/politics/rosie-odonnell-eve-ensler-twitter/ Rosie O’Donnell lashes out at feminists over ‘The Vagina Monologues’)

(https://storify.com/MikkiKendall/eve-ensler-congostigmata-and-how-to-fail-at-everyt?utm_medium=sfy.co-twitter&utm_campaign=&utm_source=t.co&awesm=sfy.co_bWR4&utm_content=storify-pingback   Eve Ensler #CongoStigmata & How To Fail At Everything )

(http://www.kiskeacity.com/2013/05/open-letter-to-eve-ensler-lesson-for.html?m=1  Open Letter to Eve Ensler: A Lesson for Haitians )

( https://modelviewculture.com/pieces/there-is-no-we-v-day-indigenous-women-and-the-myth-of-shared-gender-oppression There is No “We”: V-Day, Indigenous Women and the Myth of Shared Gender Oppression )]

For me, the white privilege evoked by some feminists is as oppressive as the power and authority that Mistress Ford and Mistress Epps lauded over Eliza and Patsy in 12Years a Slave.patsey pinky tea

And don’t get it twisted, it is not just feminist who suffer from white privilege. all the privilege unchecked

The white American outrage to the lack of a “white savoir” element in SELMA exemplifies how intoxicating and deluded privilege is.

‘How dare you not acknowledge how I freed, saved, helped you!’

“You want me to be thankful that you freed, saved, helped me escape, survive the racists, inhumane, obscene system which you created, used to enslave, capture, destroy me in the first place”  Really?!?

white womens tears collection

Shut The Fuck Up and Sit The Fuck Down!

“sounds the fuck is still open. the fuck should be shut. Shut the fuck up or I’ll shut it for you!”

“You don’t stick a knife in a man’s back nine inches and then pull it out six inches and say you’re making progress … No matter how much respect, no matter how much recognition, whites show towards me, as far as I am concerned, as long as it is not shown to everyone of our people in this country, it doesn’t exist for me.” ― Malcolm X.

malcolm_x freedom cant wait

Years ago I was the only Black student, Black person, black woman in a Women’s Studies Course At Southern Methodist University.

I listened as my professor shared the perspective of the black woman on feminism… and there were several points with which I took exception. At the appropriate time I brought these matters to the professor’s attention during the class discussion.smu

I was rebuffed, reprimanded and corrected.

I felt a quiet rage rise in me that would become more than familiar over the years…

“Well, forgive me. You, professor, clearly know more about being a Black woman in America, about being a Black feminist, than I do or could ever. I defer to your experience.”

The class fell quiet and my professor turned red and stuttered.   I felt good. I felt a long line of Uppity Negresses  and Niggras, from whom I am a descendant,  support me. It was Good for me.

Dee at SMU

So Rosie BLOCKED me.

I hope it was good for her, Because it was really GOOD for ME