no single solution for a multifaceted problem 

as the weather gets warmer and violence is on the rise in marginalized, 


 under educated and 

underemployed communities… 

I am asking you, gentle reader, 

to consider that WE have to stop putting a band-aid on a broken leg. slogans aren’t going to fix a problem that was created by forces of white supremacy nearly 10 generations ago, if not before. 
there are basic human needs that people in some communities are denied.
consider the things that make your life worth living and consider how you would feel and act if you didnt have them… through no fault of your own.
using myself as an example…

i was born into an educated family and raised by loving parents – 

education and connections afforded me job opportunities

salaries from these jobs allowed cultural and other experiences which enriched my quality of live
these are things upon which i lucked up on… now dont count me out – i worked these opportunities like I was a pimp. ‘Bitch better have my money” but what if…
violence seems to be more prevalent in communities without quality education

jobs – real jobs and economic opportunity

quality nutrition and access to nature and its products

quality medical care

opportunity for cultural and other creative expression
so in addition to saying stop the violence… we need to march, uprise, tweet and demand 

quality education

jobs – real jobs and economic opportunity

quality nutrition and access to nature and its products

quality medical care

opportunity for cultural and other creative expression
for the entire city

“But I never owned slaves…”

“If your ancestors cut down all the trees, it’s not your fault, but you still don’t live in a forest.”  Pam Oliver, a professor in the UW-Madison sociology department, explaining the historical roots of racism in the United States to her undergraduate students (mostly middle-class and White). I try to use this when I teach race now, too, to get past the defensive “but why are you BLAMING ME” reaction. (via cabell)
To all the white people who say that they shouldn’t have responsibility in racism because they’re ancestors and not them who participated in slavery, think about this!

editing my life 

I was never taught to edit my life.

I collected and accumulated as if quantity was the same as quality.
Here is the thing about this summer.

I meditated on getting Crazy out of my life.
I meditated on dumbing myself down in the world in order to get along.
I meditated on being true to myself and my beliefs.
Perhaps it is that then events of the last couple of years have me on edge.
Perhaps it is as I was told at 27. I don’t suffer fools gladly.
I have no tolerance for liars. That includes manipulation and distortion.
I have no patience with stupidity and ignorance. You have a duty to educate yourself.
I abhor racism and sexism.

I am a Black Woman who has earned respect and courtesy. And even if I didn’t, I am a human being.
I don’t tolerate or indulge privilege. If you are fragile and need you white or male or light skin or cis or Christian or ableist privilege.

Go somewhere else’s with that fuckery.


Dude said, I need to be nice if I want allies in the struggle?prince smirk

I cant begin to go in on what is wrong with this.

“if your behavior and attitude comport with my expectation and demands, I will be your ally”beyonce no  non finger

Suffice it to say,


Fuck you, fuck the dumb ass horse RACISM you road in on and your little cat PRIVILEGE, too!!!obama mic drop 

And then she BLOCKED ME

So Rosie O’Donnell Blocked me.bye bitch

Its official – I have lost my you are blocked on twitter virginity.

I had blocked before. It was scary and tremendous. I had tweeted something about a women’s right to reproductive education, freedom and choice and someone found that objectionable.

Let’s be clear I was NOT advocating for mandatory trans vaginal ultrasounds… so I didn’t understand the vitriol that came spewing at me. I was ready to go word for word, insult for insult and I thought – I don’t give a fuck. And I blocked them.

A rite of passage.

So I was surprised that Rosie O’Donnell blocked me as I hadn’t done any of the thing that were done to me.

Boom –rosie blocked me I was no longer a blocked on twitter virgin.

Yes, I disagreed with her and believe that like a great many white feminist, she believes that she can tell feminist of color how to think and what to say…

I tweeted that I stood with Lauren Chief Elk and other feminist of color demanding the inclusion of all women in feminist thought, discussion and representation.

[an overview of the controversy can be found

( Rosie O’Donnell lashes out at feminists over ‘The Vagina Monologues’)

(   Eve Ensler #CongoStigmata & How To Fail At Everything )

(  Open Letter to Eve Ensler: A Lesson for Haitians )

( There is No “We”: V-Day, Indigenous Women and the Myth of Shared Gender Oppression )]

For me, the white privilege evoked by some feminists is as oppressive as the power and authority that Mistress Ford and Mistress Epps lauded over Eliza and Patsy in 12Years a Slave.patsey pinky tea

And don’t get it twisted, it is not just feminist who suffer from white privilege. all the privilege unchecked

The white American outrage to the lack of a “white savoir” element in SELMA exemplifies how intoxicating and deluded privilege is.

‘How dare you not acknowledge how I freed, saved, helped you!’

“You want me to be thankful that you freed, saved, helped me escape, survive the racists, inhumane, obscene system which you created, used to enslave, capture, destroy me in the first place”  Really?!?

white womens tears collection

Shut The Fuck Up and Sit The Fuck Down!

“sounds the fuck is still open. the fuck should be shut. Shut the fuck up or I’ll shut it for you!”

“You don’t stick a knife in a man’s back nine inches and then pull it out six inches and say you’re making progress … No matter how much respect, no matter how much recognition, whites show towards me, as far as I am concerned, as long as it is not shown to everyone of our people in this country, it doesn’t exist for me.” ― Malcolm X.

malcolm_x freedom cant wait

Years ago I was the only Black student, Black person, black woman in a Women’s Studies Course At Southern Methodist University.

I listened as my professor shared the perspective of the black woman on feminism… and there were several points with which I took exception. At the appropriate time I brought these matters to the professor’s attention during the class discussion.smu

I was rebuffed, reprimanded and corrected.

I felt a quiet rage rise in me that would become more than familiar over the years…

“Well, forgive me. You, professor, clearly know more about being a Black woman in America, about being a Black feminist, than I do or could ever. I defer to your experience.”

The class fell quiet and my professor turned red and stuttered.   I felt good. I felt a long line of Uppity Negresses  and Niggras, from whom I am a descendant,  support me. It was Good for me.

Dee at SMU

So Rosie BLOCKED me.

I hope it was good for her, Because it was really GOOD for ME

The privilege of parenting

There is a difference between dropping your kids, failing them and letting go of your kids, freeing them.
Never picking up your Kids for visitation, not knowing their friends, not taking time to bonding in anyway that’s dropping.
Feels awful to be dropped! Feels awful to drop.
Letting go is being in relationship but giving up the privilege of parenting. Giving up the responsibility of parenting. But still being in relationship.
Trusting that the child may love the relationship but has outgrown being parented. Whether or not you have to poured your whole love your whole life into your children or not it is still so hard to let go. To trust your lovely loving little bird to spread its wings and Fly.
If you truly done your job your little bird is more prepared to fly than your heart can comprehend and the privilege of parenting is well served