DEAR BLACK MEN STOP BLAMING PLANNED PARENTHOOD AND FEMINISM FOR THE DESTRUCTION OF THE BLACK FAMILY.

DEAR BLACK MEN

STOP BLAMING PLANNED PARENTHOOD AND FEMINISM FOR THE DESTRUCTION OF THE BLACK FAMILY.

look inside yourselves…

ask yourself why a Black woman would seek out feminism? How are treating Black women that feminism is attractive.

I will say for myself, that gender bias and inequality, in my home, the homes of friends, the church, the school, on the street and in the club… made feminism attractive to me.

ask yourself why that Black woman might want access to birthcontrol? might not want to raise your baby?

for myself… I wanted to finish school, i got birth control and physical exams to be responsible about my own health. and when that birth control failed, i choose to electively terminate that pregnancy because you already had baby mamas, didnt support my personal goals, think child support is a gift out of the kindness of your heart, got me drunk/ignored my “NO” to contol and contain me and my ambition.

there are structural and systemic factors that negatively impact Black people… but my reasons for being a feminist and having an abortion are very personal. BECAUSE I AM A GROWN AS WOMAN, not a girl, not a female, not a chick. and as grown ass woman, I do what I wanna do.

you mad? get a cape…

I DON’T DRINK THE PICKLE JUICE

I am not drinking the pickle juicenicki shots

Some males just aren’t ready to see women as equals, intellectually or any other way.whitney no

They can play nice until you challenge their precious and fragile male (I have a penis, I must be right) Privilege.

Then their little pea heads explode, their dicks go limp as that little ‘Mint Condition/Never removed from box’ brain rolls around in a demented quest for fire.prince head move rolling side eye

2 signs you are dealing with a male and not a man.

They tell you all about themselves and never ask you about you.
” after high school, i went to college and then graduate school. I like this type of movie and that type of music. I go to this church and work over yonder”… and then never ask about your life and history. And if you try to volunteer the information they cut you off)

angbassett head turn disgust

You ask a question about their accomplishments or innate ability and it
never occurs to them, that you know enough to ask about it. ( “dude – I am listening to you and do you know your IQ?” “yes it is 399″ *thinking- really lala. I got you beat by 53points… but you wont ask me shit about me”

And when it does come up… they loose it.

One dude attacked me.
We could have been Martin and Coretta – but you are hung up on that feminism bullshit.
We could have been Malcolm and Betty – but you are an atheist.

DUDE!!— we were never gonna be either of those couples because

you ain’t never gonna benaomi cambell falling all the way out

Malcolm,malcolm_x freedom cant wait

Martin,MLK hand on forehead

Marcus,garvey

Frederick,frederick douglass

Nat,

Steve,steve biko

Nelson. mandela

Dude, you are one drink away from being Ike and a condom away from being

that guy on Iyanla Fix My Lifejay-34-kid guy.

You Chris Brown, Floyd Mayweather, Bill Cosby, Ray Rice, Adrian Peterson mutha fukkaangela basset car on fire

world stop

carry onI

beyonce happy dance

Are there things that you mother said to you, that you would never say to your child?

My mother told me not to let boys know that I was smart, because men don’t like smart women.

I told my daughter that there are men who are not intimidated by smart women, they may be outnumbered by those who are… but they exist.adichie not afraid of intimidating men

And then she BLOCKED ME

So Rosie O’Donnell Blocked me.bye bitch

Its official – I have lost my you are blocked on twitter virginity.

I had blocked before. It was scary and tremendous. I had tweeted something about a women’s right to reproductive education, freedom and choice and someone found that objectionable.

Let’s be clear I was NOT advocating for mandatory trans vaginal ultrasounds… so I didn’t understand the vitriol that came spewing at me. I was ready to go word for word, insult for insult and I thought – I don’t give a fuck. And I blocked them.

A rite of passage.

So I was surprised that Rosie O’Donnell blocked me as I hadn’t done any of the thing that were done to me.

Boom –rosie blocked me I was no longer a blocked on twitter virgin.

Yes, I disagreed with her and believe that like a great many white feminist, she believes that she can tell feminist of color how to think and what to say…

I tweeted that I stood with Lauren Chief Elk and other feminist of color demanding the inclusion of all women in feminist thought, discussion and representation.

[an overview of the controversy can be found

(http://www.dailydot.com/politics/rosie-odonnell-eve-ensler-twitter/ Rosie O’Donnell lashes out at feminists over ‘The Vagina Monologues’)

(https://storify.com/MikkiKendall/eve-ensler-congostigmata-and-how-to-fail-at-everyt?utm_medium=sfy.co-twitter&utm_campaign=&utm_source=t.co&awesm=sfy.co_bWR4&utm_content=storify-pingback   Eve Ensler #CongoStigmata & How To Fail At Everything )

(http://www.kiskeacity.com/2013/05/open-letter-to-eve-ensler-lesson-for.html?m=1  Open Letter to Eve Ensler: A Lesson for Haitians )

( https://modelviewculture.com/pieces/there-is-no-we-v-day-indigenous-women-and-the-myth-of-shared-gender-oppression There is No “We”: V-Day, Indigenous Women and the Myth of Shared Gender Oppression )]

For me, the white privilege evoked by some feminists is as oppressive as the power and authority that Mistress Ford and Mistress Epps lauded over Eliza and Patsy in 12Years a Slave.patsey pinky tea

And don’t get it twisted, it is not just feminist who suffer from white privilege. all the privilege unchecked

The white American outrage to the lack of a “white savoir” element in SELMA exemplifies how intoxicating and deluded privilege is.

‘How dare you not acknowledge how I freed, saved, helped you!’

“You want me to be thankful that you freed, saved, helped me escape, survive the racists, inhumane, obscene system which you created, used to enslave, capture, destroy me in the first place”  Really?!?

white womens tears collection

Shut The Fuck Up and Sit The Fuck Down!

“sounds the fuck is still open. the fuck should be shut. Shut the fuck up or I’ll shut it for you!”

“You don’t stick a knife in a man’s back nine inches and then pull it out six inches and say you’re making progress … No matter how much respect, no matter how much recognition, whites show towards me, as far as I am concerned, as long as it is not shown to everyone of our people in this country, it doesn’t exist for me.” ― Malcolm X.

malcolm_x freedom cant wait

Years ago I was the only Black student, Black person, black woman in a Women’s Studies Course At Southern Methodist University.

I listened as my professor shared the perspective of the black woman on feminism… and there were several points with which I took exception. At the appropriate time I brought these matters to the professor’s attention during the class discussion.smu

I was rebuffed, reprimanded and corrected.

I felt a quiet rage rise in me that would become more than familiar over the years…

“Well, forgive me. You, professor, clearly know more about being a Black woman in America, about being a Black feminist, than I do or could ever. I defer to your experience.”

The class fell quiet and my professor turned red and stuttered.   I felt good. I felt a long line of Uppity Negresses  and Niggras, from whom I am a descendant,  support me. It was Good for me.

Dee at SMU

So Rosie BLOCKED me.

I hope it was good for her, Because it was really GOOD for ME

Racial and Gender Equality

Patriarchy knows no gender. bell hooks no one who understands what feminism really is and the role of male privilege and misogyny would think to say or repeat such tripe.

fem·i·nism
noun \ˈfe-mə-ˌni-zəm\
: the belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities….

“Feminist: A person who believes in the social, political and economic equality of the sexes.”

Coming from a people who have been treated as property and belonging to a gender that has been treated as property, black women, more that any other group SHOULD understand the importance and necessity equality more than any other group on earth.

When we don’t, we truly have to ask ourselves why?
as brother Malcolm once asked: Who taught you to hate yourself?

Abby had Olivia.

“My jaw was wired shut for six weeks and I still have a pin in it that gets me a sympathetic look from the lady manning the x-ray every time I go through security at an airport. two of my front teeth fake and my collarbone hurts whenever it’s going to rain. So yeah you won. Yahtzee”
Abby’s storyline, last night on SCANDAL hit real close to home. As a survivor of domestic violence it was as triggering and disconcerting as it was comforting and validating.
“I suffered three surgeries to repair a broken radius and two metacarpal bones. I have a plate and two screws into firmware and a pin in my hand. I avoid eye contact when going through security, know when it’s going to rain and can’t make a fist. New manicurists are the worst because they give me a look that makes me want to cry.

Abby had Olivia. I had Doll, who I now know was my birthmother who told me not to do any thing to cause that boy to loose his job.

Right after I had to make the police officer take a report by telling him I was a lawyer and former ASA. HE HAD SAID HE DIDNT HAVE THE RIGHT FORM.