Iyanla Vanzant talks about her relationship with her mother being strained.
she later learned that her biological mother had died after her birth and that the mother she had been told was her mother was in fact her stepmother and father’s second wife.
She used the phase
“my soul was not ignorant”
that really stuck a nerve with me.
as a newborn I was given by my unmarried mother to her married and childless sister.
but my soul knew she was my mother and all my loving caregivers said she was not.
I began to distrust my intuition and instincts.
I was so clearly wrong and confused.
My soul said “there are lies here. Secrets”
my loving doting family said that was not true.
is it any wonder that I loved and tolerated so many liars
having been so loved and well cared for by liars.
so when he said he loved me… and my soul said “BULLSHIT”
i believed him and stayed in spite/despite every instinct in my body screamed for me to
in the time since I learned about the lies, I have given a lot of thought to
my life and the
things I give the
time of day.
‘friends’ have fallen away and lovers have been turned away
my view of the world, while constantly evolving has been shaken to its very foundations
I have sought forgiveness and given it – to my self, from myself
My Soul is not ignorant and my heart is broken
I am bloodied and unbowed.
and now I know a lie when I hear it.
and I don’t feel the need to distrust my instincts
and I don’t mourn bullshit and cherish sadness
and I don’t cling to things that are bad for/to me